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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

On The Bottle

It seems that Sawyer has decided that he's had enough of breast feeding.
For a good month now I was only nursing him during his one nightly/early morning wake-up. Then one night last week he didn't even feign interest in me and wailed until I got him a bottle which he promptly drained before going right back to sleep. He did that again a few nights later and now it's been two nights in a row and I think he's decided to go completely on the bottle.

Formula was already his primary form of liquid. I stopped taking my milk enhancing drugs soon after he went on solids and then of course my production went down and so formula entered the picture. I would try nursing him here and there but then the teeth came. Teeth and breast feeding with Sawyer were not a good combination. At night he was too sleepy to practice his new chewing capabilities on my nipples so it wasn't problem.

Now he's decided that bottle is better. I have mixed feelings about the end of this phase. I definitely had a much more positive experience breast feeding Sawyer than with Sierra but I wouldn't say it was the greatest thing in the world for me or anything. Although I would say I enjoyed it for the most part, I did it because it was easy and free and good for Sawyer. Many times it was just a nuisance and I felt merely like a dairy cow.

I suppose it's more what it represents than the actual breast feeding being over. It means that my baby is growing up at lightening speed and I'm not ready for it to be passing so quickly. He's getting more delightful everyday as his personality is increasingly coming through so I don't really wish him to be a newborn again. But the fact he's all baby now and no longer an infant and the fact that I will likely never experience this again is causing me to swallow a little hard.

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