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Monday, March 29, 2010

Guy Smiley

Sawyer's first smiles which came from playing pat-a-cake on Saturday morning.
So precious!

So adorably peaceful when sleeping.

So alert and observant when awake.

All different sizes of toes.
(except for Daddy's, his feet wouldn't fit in the picture, haha)

I love it when his little fingers hold mine.

I can't believe how fast Sawyer's changing and that he's already a month old.
Time, please slow down!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Little of This...

  • The sleep situation is up and down but overall better. I feel much more human as and able to cope with life as a result. I've grown to strongly dislike 3 A.M. though.
  • Sierra has been fully potty trained for a few weeks now. We've won the battle of pooping by completely eliminating Pull Ups, even for night. It took one miserable day of her running around and whining for a Pull-Up to poop in until she finally couldn't hold it any more and went in her potty. She wet the bed a total of three times in the first week and now she is diaper free and is very proud of herself. I'm ecstatic to to be only changing one bum!
  • Sawyer is officially one month old today. He's up to 8lbs 12 oz and been quite a good baby. Since this is very likely our last child I am clinging to this stage as tightly as I can. It will be over before I know it and while I've loved and enjoyed Sierra more and more as she grows older there is something so precious and sweet about the newborn/baby time that I don't want to give up to quickly.
  • I started exercising yesterday and am trying to be more aware of what I'm eating to help with the loss of the baby weight. My hips are just starting to narrow back, evident by my maternity pants beginning to actually feel looser. It's nice to have some progress.
  • Our basement development goals have been met but now it's time to clean up the horrific mess that process created.
  • I'm ready for a holiday to relax and bond with my family. Everything feels so chaotic and frantic here at home that going away would be a most wonderful break right now. I'm actually at a brief point with our children's ages and that I would consider traveling.
  • I bought an enormous bag of Mini-Eggs two weeks ago. A big mistake. The contents of the bag are significantly consumed. Not good for weight loss goals but oh so good on my taste buds!
  • Spring is teasing us with some very nice days lately but around here we know it's not permanent yet.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


What is it that has me, as a mom, feel like I need to have the strength, stamina, and the extra-ordinary skills of a super hero?
Forget the fact that a mere three weeks ago I completed nine months of all the discomforts of growing a baby. Then I experienced hours of the most excruciating pain possible and that was followed by pushing out the equivalent of a watermelon through a hole normally the size of a carrot?
Forget the fact that I have to heal from the above experience.
Forget the fact that my hips and pelvis are screaming at me in agony as they attempt to realign themselves while I run around and try to function like I did pre-pregnancy. (That goodness for chiropractors!)
Forget the fact that my boobs became so milk laden that they ballooned to an unrecognizable size, leaked continuously and at embarrassing times and the slightest bump sends spasms of pain radiating across my chest. Then to have them sucked on every couple of hours by a get my point.
Forget the fact that my self-image is in a complicated state as my body is way smaller than it was three weeks ago but about fifteen pounds away from where it should be. It's the in between stage of clothes so I feel like I have nothing flattering to wear. I try to give it credit for what it's been put through but I also think "hurry up, get back to normal already!" No matter that it took nine months to morph like it did, why won't it transform back instantly?
Forget about the hormones settling themselves back down too. Oo is that a recipe for scary some moments!

I'm a mom, I can do anything!!!

I think immediately following a baby's birth all new mom's should get a week off in an exotic resort and be waited on hand and foot while we heal and get to know our new babies. Reality would be easier to face I think.

My reality has been 4-6 hours of interrupted sleep per night and then a full day of keeping up with regular activities because Sierra doesn't have the personality type to allow me to do anything else. To her, I'm mommy as usual and that is probably the hardest part of post-baby adjustment and recovery. She is a needy, demanding girl who will not be ignored. I'm just thankful that she can do a lot of things by herself such as get dressed. Of course when Sierra goes down for her nap Sawyer decides he needs to eat and have awake time so no napping for mommy. I get the occasional doze time but nothing even remotely close to getting me caught up and feeling like I can dispose of the toothpicks holding up my eyelids.
The lack of sleep, doing too much and my body recovering is seriously wearing on me. I was out and about driving the other day and realized that I was not a safe presence on the road, my awareness and reaction time was almost non-existent and it actually scared me.

I keep going because I don't feel as though I have any other choice. All I did was survive last week and even that didn't go about very well. I yell at Sierra more than is characteristic of me, attempt to ignore her as much as possible, and I can't think straight. My house was a disaster (not that that is the most crucial thing but being surrounded by chaos didn't help), my body was a disaster, my mental state was a disaster....

There you have it, my whine session from last week. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who puts up with me and helps where he can. He allowed me the time to catch up on sleep this past weekend and get our house more-or-less clean and tidy. It is a new week, I've had a few good nights with Sawyer and even a nap yesterday so I feel loads better.
Thanks to those who are willing to read my whining. This is my life, my reality and although it is far from bad it sure has its challenging bits.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Still Here

Every time I started a post this past week it ended up sounding like a giant cheese and whine session full of poor me. I intended for them to sound like just the realities and challenges of adjusting to life with a newborn and a two-and -a-half year old but with no success. I figured no one wanted to read that hence no post. Anyway, the biggest trial is lack of sleep and I've been severely short on it. Extreme tiredness affects so much! This weekend offered me some catch up and hopefully this next week will be better.
Be back soon!

Friday, March 5, 2010

A Baby Story

Most women I know seem to have a morbid fascination with the details of each other's labour and delivery. I know I do. So here's my story:
I suppose if I want to get really technical it began Sunday, the 21st. That night I experienced regular cramping but it turned out my body was just teasing me and to my disappointment the action ebbed by 4 A.M ish. I was than left me alone all day Monday. By Monday late afternoon they began again but nothing uncomfortable, just there. They continued into the evening in regular waves and I thought okay, maybe. During the night there were times when the cramps strengthened to the point of me needing to breath through them and I dared call them contractions in my mind a that point. They were rather erratic though, regular for awhile and then intermittent, stronger and then weaker. I was able to get some of what I'll call sleep in between and then by 4 A.M the pains again off died to the point where I fell asleep for real, vaguely aware of the occasional pain but nothing significant. When Trevor's alarm went off at 6:45 contractions kicked in with a vengeance and within a half and hour I knew this was it and that it was "time to go."

When I say kicked in with a vengeance I mean with a vengeance! They were hard and every three minutes and I was panting away like an overheated dog and gripping the quilt for all it was worth. They tell you to relax into your contractions and imagine them working for you....yeah right! With Sierra they worked their way up in intensity and I could get through them by the time they were bad but this didn't give me a fighting chance!

We arrived at the hospital by eight where I was assessed pretty promptly and told I was at a good 4 cm dilated. Phew! With Sierra we went to the hospital three times before there was any progress and they would admit me so I was praying this was the real deal this time. They barely uttered the words "prepping your room" and I was begging for an epidural. The pain of my contractions was unreal and like most women in labour I declared that I was not doing it again!

I envy those women who say labour wasn't really that bad. Both of mine were that bad and no way was I enduring them 'au natural.' Epidurals are wonderful things and I had mine by about 9:45A.M. They also gave me some morphine while waiting for the anesthetist to arrive for the epidural. I'd never had morphine - that's good stuff too but all it did was lessen the severity of the peaks of the contractions.

Epidural doing its magic I dozed and listen to music and let my body work. By just before noon I'd made it to 7cm and my OB/Gyn decided to quicken things a bit with some Oxytocin (sp?). By 12:30 I was ready to push. With Sierra the epidural froze me right down to my toes and although that was apparently too much I felt absolutely nothing. This time around I felt everything as I pushed Sawyer out. Well, it felt like everything, my senses may have been dulled somewhat but the whole "ring of fire" burn was definitely there. It's a great motivator to getting a baby out! After twenty minutes of pushing - I'd forgotten how much work that was - Sawyer Henry was born at 12:51 P.M.

We named him Sawyer simply because I saw the name in a baby book and we like it. We do watch the TV show Lost and I remember us commenting on how we liked the name Sawyer because of the character on the show but when it came to picking his name it came from a book. The name Henry is after my dad, both grandpas, my great grandpa, and Trevor's grandpa.

He's a great baby and my recovery is going well. I feel like I can't keep up with life most days but I know that will quickly change. We are content and complete and I'm glad it's all over with!