Bemoaning

Trevor did not get the job. I am crushed. I didn't think I was hoping for it that much until he got turned down.

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I don't know what to say. It feels as if God dangled a treat in front of my eyes and then took it away. I guess it means I'm going back to work for sure (I'd allowed myself the luxury of planning summer without having to work full-time). I could provide you with a long list of my complaints of work and how awful I think it will be, but I won't. I am hopeful that full-time work won't be a necessity too long anyway. I can't believe how bad my attitude is towards this though; I hate how I feel.

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I know we have a good life. Many mom's have to work much, much sooner after giving birth and for their whole lives. Many mom's also don't have loving husbands to help them parent and provide. Overall I am thankful for my time with Sierra and our situation.

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I just want to wretch and moan and feel sorry for myself right now and NOT feel guilty about it. I shouldn't do that. I don't want to waste this lovely time being a grump.

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I know I'll get over it.