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Monday, September 1, 2008

Weekend of Renewel.

I’m going to tell you about the delightful get-a-way Trevor, Sierra and I had from Friday night to Sunday morning and all the fun and resoltions that came of it. The idea only came to me last weekend when I was in a disgruntled mood about the state of my life. As I moped around in silence I starting thinking and analyzing my mood, so I asked,

“Self, what is wrong with you?”

“I think I’m peopled out,” Self answered.

“Our living arrangements are great but it’s not just us anymore. I have Mom and Dad, and Trevor and Sierra around any time I’m home. Since Sierra so enjoys her Granny and Grandpa it’s difficult to disappear into the basement for extended periods of family or alone time.”

Self paused thoughtfully.

“I believe I need some down time to myself and with our little family.”

I mused for a moment and then a light bulb lit up in my weary brain.

“Well, what if Trevor, Sierra and I go away next weekend; just the three of us, and spend some time simply with each other?” I suggested to Self.

“That is a fabulous idea!” Self said enthusiastically.

I brought this idea to Trevor who also readily agreed.

After our restaurant adventure on Friday we drove for a little over an hour to a tiny town called Mountain View. Mountain View is in the foothills at the base of the Rocky Mountains and offers spectacular “Mountain Views”. We stayed in a bed-and-breakfast called “Simply the Best” run by a nice Mormon family. (In fact 95% of Mountain View residents are Mormon) From Mountain View we drove the fifteen minutes to Waterton National Park and spent most of Saturday there.

Here’s what we did:

We tried a little hike but Sierra didn't enjoy being in the Snuggli, she wanted to run around on her own! We managed a forty minute walk.

She decided to fill the backpack with rocks.

The deer are so tame they came right up to us.

Just the three of us.

Not only did we have some great family time but Trevor and I had the opportunity to finally just talk.
A big overhanging issue is his lack of getting a job. Here we were at the end of August with the school year beginning on Tuesday and Trevor didn't have a contract position. I know the first couple of weeks of school will reveal actual student numbers and government funding so some positions may appear but...
my faith in Trevor getting a job has all but disappeared.
I truly believed that Trevor would have a job by now. There really was no "if" in my mind. God calls us to have faith so that is what I did. The blatant fact at hand has shaken me deeply. I felt very betrayed and let down and hopeless.
Then I begrudgingly admitted that God's timing is often not our own, it's not as if Trevor would have no work, and God has been good to us thus far so why woudn't He continue?
Trevor shared some similar feelings along with questioning if teaching is really what he is supposed to do. At what point do we go from having faith that we will reach the destination along the chosen path to considering alternate paths?
I personally don't feel we need to change our route just yet as there haven't even been any job opportunities. If there was position after position that Trevor was just not getting hired for than I would be more likely to say perhaps he should consider something else.
It's only been a year, after all.
So for now, he subs and we dig deep down and cling to the faith that God knows best.

As for me and my job - I work full time this week yet and then Trevor and I have agreed that I'll move down to two days a week. I'll work Fridays and Trevor won't. It's only a half day for teachers so Trevor won't be missing as much by being unavailable. I will also work Tuesdays and, when it's my turn in the rotation, Saturday instead. It means that Trevor will have to be quite proactive in getting himself known as a sub to maintain relatively consistent work for a relatively consistent income. The more he works, the more he's known, and the more chance he has at getting a job later. All this means that I only have to find child care for Sierra for one day a week at most. That's the plan for now with keeping an open mind that it may have to change.
That's our life on the job front as we head into September. It is not ideal but we've accepted it and will make the best of it.

"Self, how do feel now?" I ask on this dreary, rainy, holiday Monday afternoon.
"I feel all right, issues are talked out and we're moving forward," Self nodded with a satisfied look.
"How about you?"
"I'm feeling pretty good about life right now too, thanks for being there!"
"No problem!"


Kindra said...

Good to hear you guys had a good weekend! Wow, I can't believe how long Sierra's hair is getting!

BloomingAlmond said...

It's good to have family around but i know what you mean when you say you guys needed time alone as a family... it was nice you had to have your weekend in that gorgeous place!

About the jobs thing, be patient and have faith... Sometimes things don't get as we wanted but it all has a way for being like that... It all be ok as long as you have the love of your family... :)