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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Being Real

* don't read this if you can't handle a little whining (ok, a lot) 'cause that's what this post is.

1. I feel as though we are in the midst of the winter that will never end.  It slammed into us in November and it's either been frigidly cold (highs of -18!) and snowy or slightly warmer with wind that has the enthusiasm of a hurricane (80kms/hour).   I am incredibly weary of this winter and although I am usually ready for spring/summer every year when it comes this year I will welcome it with open arms and hug and kiss it and not let it go.

2.  Since the last weekend of January we've gone through enough Kleenex to warrant owning shares.  The volume of snot that has been produced in this household is magnificent and has been unending as this perpetual cold cycles over and over.  I've phoned and visited my doctor and the walk-in clinic enough that I'm on first name basis with all the staff.  Trevor is the only one to avoid antibiotics so far (but he has been sick)  and I'm about to begin my second round of drugs!!!!  On top of colds and ear infections and coughs Sierra manged to get a urinary trace infection and is running to the bathroom every fifteen minute - half-hour.  Oh, and the other night she barfed all over her bed and I was sure the flu was accosting us as well!  As it turns out I think it was just some old mac'n' cheese that didn't agree with her because her vomiting ceased after one episode and she's been fine since.  Then add Sawyer teething to the mix.....

3. While we're on the topic of illness - Trevor has recently been preliminarily diagnosed with a rather unpleasant disease.  It is not life-threatening or anything but it will affect our lives.  He sees a specialist next week and then I'll be able to fill you in with specifics and details.  This entire ordeal started last fall and it has been incredibly stressful and weighing.

4.  While we're on the topic of weight, my weight loss and fitness goals have taken a distant back seat with the germ infestation that we are battling.  I haven't gained any weight back, the strain is helping that.  But I sure haven't eaten with great care or attention and the exercise has been intermittent,  I don't have the energy to even care right now.

5.   Speaking of energy,  I believe I would pass out some days if it weren't for caffeine or sugar.

6.  Trevor's and my relationship is suffering.  Our marriage is still rock solid and there is no question that we love each other but being in survival mode for this long is taking its toll.

7.  I know many people who are feeling the effects of our long winter and sickness so the general mood  surrounding me is a bit heavy and that doesn't help mine.  None of this is anyone's fault and we are all gallantly trying to keep our chins up and mouths smiling but underneath we are furiously paddling and the leg cramps are getting to us!
 I recognize that I'm in no unusual or more difficult position than many mom's or other non-mom's for that matter.   We all have our difficulties. I also know it will get better.  But I am plumb worn out and not feeling much hope of breaking through the surface of this pool I'm in, so at this exact moment I'm having trouble dealing with it all.  I get a little break here and there and although they are welcome reprieves all they seem to do is tease me with what I truly need.  My doctor looked at me said it is no wonder I've been sick for a month, I'm totally run down.  Then as she leaves she tells me to pack my bags and go somewhere warm for a week (jokingly of course).  
Could she please write a prescription for that and require my benefits to pay for it?

1 comment:

Karina said...

Carla, these sick-marathons plus winter weather are so hard on a family, especially Moms! I hope you are able to find some respite soon. I'd love to send you some ideas that have worked for Josh and I. If you are interested - let me know!

Praying you find a way to keep your head above water!