Hermitting

Normally a very social person who is constantly on the go I have suddenly found myself with a need to be alone.  There was nothing anyone said or did; I believe that I simply need some personal recharge time. 

 

I need to just be at home with my kids without having to be doing something or be somewhere.

I need to get some of the mundane daily tasks done in a relaxed non-urgent manner.  Such as folding and putting away the laundry I started a week ago!  

I need to feel in control of things at home.  

I need to play with my kids. My kids need to play with me

I need to get some yard work done.  I hate weeds with a passion but they so need to be warred with right now. 

I need to prepare and get things ready for our upcoming vacation.  I think my mind is also telling me to take my alone time now because for nearly two weeks there will be practically none.  I'm not complaining, it'll be great to reconnect with old friends and family.  But I want the mental energy to enjoy it because it only happens once a year.

It's not as if I'm going to turn off my phone and lock the doors and hide the computer and avoid everyone - I'm just not planning as much as I usually do.

I'm not depressed or angry or sad or frustrated or anything.  This is just my current state of mind and what I need.  

Who knows?  By tomorrow I might be stir crazy and phoning everyone I know!

Ranting

I've expressed my frustration over finding childcare for my kids before but it came to a head recently.

I thought I had a great place lined up at the beginning of the month.  It was in town, with someone I knew of by name and has a pretty good reputation as a day-home provider.
Then....
Here it comes....
Then
I got an email asking if I'd had a chance to turn in my paperwork to the agency.  I had not as life has been     C R A Z Y and I was having trouble printing the forms.  I replied explaining this.  Within two days I received another email saying that other families got their paper work in before me and the spots were no longer open.
Huh?
  NOT ONCE did she mention that the spots were contingent upon my getting the paper work in, I assumed it was just a formality.  Nor did she mention that there was possible competition for the spots.  As far as I interpreted things it was a done deal.  

Obviously not.
I'm still wracking my brain how I could have missed that and am rather devastated.  Not so much about losing this particular day-home but that this childcare finding chore has been such a saga!  It brings about all the pity-party thoughts and emotions of how I wasn't even supposed to have to work yada yada yada.

So at the suggestion of this person I phoned the day-home agency who gave me a name of someone else in town.
Ok, good, I could breathe again.
I met with her all encouraged and optimistic.  I figured as long as she was nice and I had a good vibe this would be it. Yeah, she's all right but her fee system is ridiculous.  Well, for my schedule of one day a week that is.  She would charge me a monthly rate based on one full day a week for two kids.  If I go on holidays or my day falls on a stat than no break in costs.  Okay, I think I get that.  Most jobs get paid stats and the holiday thing kinda makes sense too.  Then again it is a home business (isn't it?) and most business owners don't get paid stats - like the optometrists who own my place of employment, or my dad when he had his own electrical company.   What really got me was that she takes three weeks off per year herself and still takes payment for those times without providing an optional person(s) to take over for her.  So I'd have to pay double on those days. She also charges a diaper fee for kids not potty trained which she so generously offered to wave since Sierra would only be half days in fall but I still have to pay for a full.

I can't afford this person.
I cried on my way to Walmart after this meeting.

Maybe I'm totally out to lunch on my child care expectations.  Even if this is reasonable I simply can't afford it.  If this is how it is I'm better off quitting work.

I get that operating a day home is a real job.  I admire those that do it because I sure couldn't.  If I was full time it or even worked a regular daily part-time schedule it would be easier.  My one day a week is kicking me in the butt and beating me while down.

A good friend recently agreed to take my kids for the summer so the next two months are taken care of.  I think my dad will watch Sierra in fall (it'll only be half a day with her in pre-school) so now I just have to find care for Sawyer.
At there is something in place for now.

But man am I FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!

Sierra Bear Turns 4!!!

Sierra turned 4 years old on the 9th.

She is very proud to be 4 and informs nearly everyone of this feat.  

We had a princess party for her with my parents and grandma to help celebrate.  

I made fancy little sandwiches and we drank iced tea all while using pretty china.

As typically kid as a kid can get she tore into her presents with vigor and enthusiasm and had them all opened and examined in 2.7 seconds.   Then, course, we had to try them all out.

It was fun.  Next year I might throw her an actual birthday party with other kids.

Sierra has grown into such a nice little girl.  Her energy is boundless but overall she has mellowed out some.  She has a very strong mind of her own meaning there is never a question of what she wants or likes/dislikes.  Believe me there are many-a-battle as a result of her confident personality but in the end she is a people pleaser and thrives on praise and affirmation.

We think she has amazing athletic leanings for a kid her age.  She can whale a plastic baseball with a bat across our large yard or heave it way over my head with her hands.  Her foot control with a soccer ball challenges me and she pedals so fast on her little bike I can't even run to keep up anymore!  Sierra loves the swimming pool having recently discovered that water wings really do prevent her from sinking and that the big "zoomy" slide is way better than the little kid slide.

Yesterday I bought her a pair of Dora sandals (they were on sale) and once she got over the idea of having to get used they way they feel - as new shoes do - they became the best thing ever.  When Trevor and I checked on her before we went to bed we saw that she had changed into her Dora PJ's (to match) and fallen asleep with her new sandals on!  It was hilarious.  I wish we would have taken a picture.

Anyway, I can hardly believe I have a four year old already but as I've been saying all along- Sierra is becoming more and more delightfully fun and increasingly enriches our lives.

I love you Sierra-bear!

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

The adorable - albeit messy - curls before.

Sitting in the car-chair while the curls are eliminated.

 "No Dad!  Don't let her do it!!!"  (Trevor was the one to do this deed)

"I don't know about this....am I still cute? What's Mom going to think?"

"You'll always be handsome in your mommy's eyes!"

(Okay, okay Trevor, it does look better.)

Whatever

The sun has appeared.  

With warmth.  

And mosquitoes.  

Swarms and swarms of the useless little pests.

I've been selling and buying things.  Mostly selling.  

I bought this Peg Perego Pliko 3 stroller at a nearby garage sale for $120, it's been used 3 times and would cost $300 new. (I have a stroller obsession) I needed wanted a compact stroller where the seat back sat up straight and went into a full recline, a decent canopy was also a consideration.  I got it all!  I already had two strollers that had various shortcomings and they've already been sold.

My mom and dad found this awesome deal for a condo larger than our house in Palm Springs and have booked it for mid January.  Yes, we are invited to join them.  I think there might be enough room!
  With our horrendous winter and extremely late start to summer the idea of a warm vacation is very appealing - even if it's seven months away!

Speaking of vacation, it is less than three weeks until our trip to the coast.  We are all looking forward to it.  The week long packing process, 12+ hour drive with two kids, as well as the sure-to-be 6AM wake up calls while we're there at first because of the time change are particular highlights that I'm anticipating!  I joke.
  I'm counting on the reconnecting with family and friends to make it more than worth it.

I'm back to working my 12-18hrs a week and life is much happier in our household.

I'm almost ready to quit work if for no other reason than the nuisance finding child care has proven to be.  I'm not having a good experience with the search process.

I keep meaning to get up earlier and go for runs.
Yeah.
Hasn't happened.
Probably won't.

Rain Rain Go Away....

We go from being inundated with snow and cold to deluges of rain and cold with clouds hanging so low we can practically touch them.

WHERE IS SUMMER!!!!!!!

  The wet, the dreary, the damp, the dark,the oppressive feeling just gets to me.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd get used to it if I had to.  Maybe.  It would be not be a pretty process if I had to go through it though.  

Here, even if it's cold, the sun usually shines.

I have seriously had it up to my ears and well over with our weather lately.  A long winter is endurable if spring and summer actually arrive.  It is June 17 and I can count on one hand how many days we've been able to wear shorts/capris and the like.  

Oh, and the forecast isn't looking promising for the next week either. 

 

Help!

More Than Meets the Eye

I need this picture right now.  

Between the rain and me working so much my kids have turned into whiny little monsters that are as disagreeable and ornery as the day is long!

Good thing they are cute!

Hello!

Has it really been nearly two weeks since my last post?!

I see that it has.

Okay so I'm back and here's a quick synopsis of the last two weeks:

It is June 5 and after a totally crappy May in the weather and time department we finally got our vegetable garden planted along with some perennials and annuals.  We even played hookey from church (gasp!) to accomplish this.  Trevor concluded that if this is the only nice day God is giving us than we'd better take advantage of it. (It has rained and rained and is supposed to again this week)  We haven't been able to make the sun's acquaintance much yet this "spring" to so the weeds haven't been able to flourish.  At least all we had to do was plant and not fight with weeds during our limited one day of heat and sun.

After working nearly 30 hours a week for the past four weeks I'm exhausted.  Work itself is fine, it's my rat race life outside of work that has done me in.  My kids are also starting to act up so it's time for me to be home more. (They are driving me up the wall and across the ceiling these days!)   I know that if I had to work full time we'd all get used to it.  My normal 12-18 hours of is much better for us though.  I get a break from my kids and yet don't feel like it takes over me life.  One more week, one more week.....

Trevor is a very happy man these days.  The Vancouver Canucks are in the Stanley Cup final and two wins away from securing the trophy.  Every game has us one the edge of our seats and on pins and needles.

My girl turns 4 this week and I'm freaking out a little bit.  She has turned into a little girl and is no longer a baby or toddler and as "they" say time is just a zooming.  Not that I want her a baby again, heavens no!  She gets more and more fun in new and different ways, but there is still that little ache inside me.  She had her pre-school orientation this past Friday.  I think that is what really got me. I will have a kid in school!  Maybe it's the realization that Trevor has no desire for more children and I'm not as convinced so when I see my babies growing up so quickly....

Anyway, life is okay.  I am ready for summer to arrive, especially since we seemed to have forgotten about spring.