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Monday, October 6, 2008


A few months back I wrote a post about music and my life and where it seemed to be. I had a lot of questions but the main one was "Am I meant to still be involved in music or is God calling me to other areas? At the time my fists were still gripped quite tightly to music and weren't really ready to let go. I prayed and talked through it and a few weeks later that grip loosened. Eventually my palms opened up completely and I was honestly able to say to God,
"Here, use me as you see fit."
My arrival at that mindset came from a meeting I had with our music pastor. I felt that I had to speak about his with, being the music guy, before making any definite decisions. We were able to have a comfortable conversation about what music means to me and my current struggles. I also asked where he was going with the various musical aspects in our church. I knew he was a genuinely nice guy and that none of my struggle was his fault but I believe I had this need to blame someone (or something). Our music pastor happened to be the unlucky recipient of that although I'm fairly certain he was never aware. I am relieved to say that any hard feelings towards him that I once harboured disappeared with our talk.
I left that meeting feeling as if I was good at what I contributed musically but that I didn't need it anymore. Music didn't have to define me. Of course I would be thrilled to continue but if that was not meant to be than something else would be there to bring just as much joy.
Two weeks ago I got an email from my worship pastor. He asked me to be on a regular Sunday morning worship team! Yayyy! Excitement followed. Then the awesome responability of it also set in. I am one of nine singers that get this honour out of about thirty volunteers. All I can say to this is that it is obviously God and this is definitely what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm sure that list of volunteers included better vocalists than I am and yet I get to sing on a team. Wow.
There was a meeting yesterday morning with those of use involved on worship team, singers and musicians and sound techs, and the enormity of this role was made quite clear. We are seen up front and center on a regular basis; we are a very visible representation of the church. Music is a major thing in churchs and we are it. At the same time we are not to be the focus, God is. People will know who we are and we were encouraged to remain spiritually solid so that Sunday morning worship will be about God.
I am far from perfect but after last week I am in a very strong spiritual place right now. I pray that I can continue in this direction. Vocally, I have already sought out taking voice lessons in order to add some strength and confidance and quality to my singing. God is entrusting me with this I need to do the best I can.

1 comment:

BloomingAlmond said...

If you were asked to sing at church you can be that bad! :) That's actually pretty exciting! You're singing in front of a lotta people right? :) Hope everything goes ok with that and enjoy it! :)