Deep

I fear this is going to be a long contemplative post as I am sitting in a Second Cup coffee shop, in Calgary, 

ALONE!!!
(well, as alone as one can get in a public coffee shop!)

I am waiting for Trevor while he has his RA doctor's appointment and then we are meeting up with friends for dinner.  This dinner is the sole purpose for me to even have made the trip with Trevor.  Okay, okay, and also the chance to be alone.  Away from my kids.

Here I sit, thoroughly enjoying my vanilla bean latte - sorry Starbucks, you don't hold a candle to Second Cup - and thinking about friends, my family, and my life.

My first thoughts run to my friends.  I love my friends.  My life is enriched and all the better for the many fabulous friends I have.  The word 'friend' encompasses a rather broad spectrum within its definition and that is a good thing because the uniqueness of each person and their relationship with me would never fit inside a little description box.
  We have many great friends both local and afar.  I often feel guilty and frustrated that I don't/can't keep in contact with them nearly as often as they cross my thoughts.  Facebook snooping doesn't count!  

As our kids are growing I've been mulling over the fact that I have a family.  
 We live as a dad, mom, and two kids.  

A family!     

I don't know why that seems so novel but it does.  Maybe because I feel like I still have to grow up, how can I possible be a mom?

Anyway, with that 'revelation' I feel the need to work on our family 'unit'.  

Trevor, Carla, Sierra, and Sawyer.  

We do so much with others that our little family hasn't had much of a chance to evolve as it's own entity.  When I was a kid I absolutely loved the family times and outings my parents would make for us.   I'm certain that has a large part in why we are still so close and enjoy spending time together.  So much of the days and weeks are spent as 'me and the kids' or 'Trevor and the kids' because of the annoying necessity of work and our attempts to minimize the need for paid childcare.  Our family is as large as it will be (unless God intervenes!) and I really want to cherish and enjoy each stage as our kids grow up.  Not that the number of kids should affect this desire but knowing how fast time is passing already and that I will never again experience certain stages really makes me personally not want to miss out on any moment I have with my little family.

Between friends and family and everything else the fullness of my life has just kept increasing.  Overall, this is a good thing.  We are blessed and happy and wouldn't change most of it.  This "fullness', however, has culminated in a stupidly busy life, oh, since January.  It has felt like every waking moment is filled with something and there has been very little time to 'just be'.  (sorry for all the quotation marks today)  

I'm not complaining I'm realizing. 

I have loved nearly every minute of our busyness and Trevor and I both thrive on an active social life.  

But.....

I suddenly was finding myself tired. 

At first I was blaming my going back to work, Trevor's RA, my kids, lack of sleep, the cat catching mice in the house at 3 A.M, the weeds that I've waged war on, the added work going on trips brings, or my ever-growing-never-shrinking-mile-long to-do list.  As you can see, objects of blame were not in short supply.  Then this little nagging voice inside was pestering me and hinting that maybe I was trying to do too many different things.  

I know it's only August but there is already a lot of humming around the fall/winter activities that are too quickly approaching.  I've had to dig into the recesses of my brain and face these thoughts that perhaps my life is a little too full.  I already said "no" to one of my usual involvements for this fall and there may be more "no"s before I feel in control.

I'm feeling a little stressed with the need to change and balance my life a little better.  I don't want to give up time with my friends, I want to concentrate a little more on our family 'unit', and we have an extended family we actually like, and Trevor and I need to keep our marriage strong and then there are activities, and, and, and....

 How do I achieve this balance?
How do I prioritize?
How do I keep everyone happy - especially us?

About Where We Think It Would Be Fun to Pack Up A Whole Lot Of Stuff and Play Outside For Three Days

 

 

 

 

For the third year in a row we packed our vehicle as full as it would pack with what felt like our entire house and went camping with my parents.

 

 

Whoever thought that sleeping outside inside on the ground protected by a small canvas room, cook and eat and play in the great outdoors along with 30 bazillion mosquitoes and other bugs, and not bathe or shower for three days FOR FUN was deranged of mind.

We must also be missing a few screws because we had a great time!

 

The sun was wonderfully hot during the day and the mountain air was refreshingly cool at night.

  Sierra ran herself ragged (and us!) by riding her bike,  swimming, building sand structures, zooming down the slides at the park and just being an active four year old!

Sawyer decided that eating small rocks would be a good dietary staple.  Between constantly pulling pebbles out of his mouth and preventing him from going on his own walks he also wore us out!

 

By the time the kids were in bed each evening all we could do was sit by the fire and drink wine.  Often we'll pull out a game or two, not this year!

After three days we stunk like skunks and our skin had turned a peculiar shade of brown that was not a tan. Also, because there were enough mosquitoes to drive one to the looney bin and we put on so much bug repellant that by the end of our excursion we could practically scrape it off with a spatula!

So was it relaxing?

Heck no!!!

 

Was it rejuvinating?

Yes, in a reconnecting-with-nature-forget-about-home kind of way.

 

Did we create fantastic family memories?

Definitely!

Will we do it again

Guaranteed!

 

We were constantly fighting with Sawyer to keep his hat on!  Here's one of the rare moments it stayed put for longer than 5.6 seconds.  (Pssst, don't Sierra he has her sand pail!)

I love little girl swimsuits with skirts!

One of the many water toys Granny and Papa spoiled Sierra with!

The first year that Sierra did not want to stomp down any and all sand creations!  We actually got a castle built!

A tuckered out Sawyer, just sitting in his stroller.  Soon to have a nap.

A tuckered out Sierra!  I was reading her a story and all of sudden she rolled onto her side and started snoring!

 

 Lounging. 

(for a second or two anyway)

 

Snuggles with Papa.

Wining

The highlight of our vacation was our little getaway to the Okanagan Lake area.  Those two days felt exotic and totally vacation-y!

  We met some dear friends there and had an absolute blast touring the wineries, drinking copious amounts of wine, eating, visiting, and forgetting about our kids.

The view from our hotel room.

 

A winery.

 

Day in Vancouver

Yes, I am still alive.  

Just when I think I see a hole in the craziness of our life something fills it in before I can even think about walking towards it, never mind jumping through it.

I think I am going a little looney with the stress.

But I'm not here to wretch and moan and complain, I'm here to share with you one of the lovely days we had on our vacation to the West coast.

We took a day and drove into the city of Vancouver to experience the Vancouver Aquarium.  The weather was warm, not hot, with a bit of sun and cloud and made for a very pleasant day.  We ate $6 hotdogs and marveled at the various aquatic animals and enjoyed a dolphin show.

 Even Sawyer was totally taken in as we parked his stroller in front of the giant tank and the seals swam by.

Once we were fished out we invaded my aunt and her 7th floor 400ish square foot ocean- view apartment.  

I'm pretty sure the place will never be the same.

I was admiring the view from her balcony while holding Sawyer when all of sudden I felt him shift and his sippy-cup went flying by my ear and over the edge of the balcony.

It did not fare well.

My aunt treated us to a nice visit, pizza, and joined us for a delightful walk along the beach.

Home

As great a vacations are there is definitely something about returning to the familiarity of home. (although staying with Trevor's parents is kinda like a second home!)  Home we are after a grueling 16 hour drive last Tuesday, and are trying gallantly to remember we even had a holiday as we've been catapulted back into our ever-busy life.  

Traveling with a nearly 1 1/2 year old is an adventure.

When Sawyer wasn't sleeping, eating or enthralled by a DVD he was hollering.  The hollering occurred approximately 90% of the time.   He chose to yell

"AAAAAAH!"

at the top of his lungs periodically for no other reason other than to see how well his lungs work.

The are operating in tip-top shape.

The remaining holler sessions alternated from whiny wimper-like complaints to complete and utter displeasure yells. Translating would have resulted in something like this:

"Mom, I'm getting kinda tired of my carseat,"

to

"Get me out of this @#%^&* seat now!"

I nearly left him on the side of the road to hitch a ride with some other unsuspecting soul who would be lured by his incredible cuteness.

Anyway.  I'm cured of any desire for long-distance driving for awhile.

Vacating

We have temporarily vacated our home and province and trekked out west.  Already half-way through our holiday we are having a geat time.

What I have learned:

A 14 hour drive with a 16 month old is not pleasant.  Try as I might to entertain him Sawyer complained loudly for a good portion of the drive.

 I can't wait for the journey home.

A sippy cup does not fair well after being throw off of a seventh story balcony and landing on concrete.  Sawyer spontaneously decided to engage in that experiment while we were enjoying an ocean view from said balcony.

My kids can sleep in (7:40) if you run them ragged enough during the day!

Vacations are not for sleeping if you are an adult with kids.  Catch-up evenings with old, dear friends take care of any thoughts of going to bed at a timely hour, then the kids ensure mornings come well before your eyes want them to.  

But it's all worth it!

Humidity can made 18 degrees Celsius feel much warmer.

Jogging is easier at lower altitudes.

Sierra holds a mini-golf club like a hockey stick and the number of strokes is of no concern as long as the ball goes in the hole.

Sawyer loves watching fish of many varieties in large fish-tanks.  He squealed and pointed and was totally enthralled during our outing to the Vancouver Aquarium. 

 (We thought he would be bored and just want to run!)

I've known this for a long time but with each visit I am reminded of how special and fortunate it is to have a great relationship with Trevor's parents - my in-laws.  Their love for our children and us is very evident.

Talk to you on the other side - with pictures!

The Good, The Bad, and The Frustrating.

The Good:

You know what I discovered two weeks ago?

McDonald's Iced Coffee with Vanilla flavouring.

Mmmmmm!

Perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day.

Aa - and, they are only $1 during the summer.

I may or may not have a new addiction and may or may not be constantly on the hunt for loonies so that I can satisfy my craving.

The Bad:

  My allergies are causing me to want to ban the existence of hay forever.  So what if cows and horses have nothing to eat in winter?  I'm dying here people!  And allergy pills make me feel sluggish and dopey.

The Frustrating:

We leave for vacation in less than three days.  The vacation part is exciting but getting there is stressing me to the max!  It is noon on day one of three to prepare and all I've accomplished is one complete load of laundry.  Not only do I have to pack our entire house up (with kids there is no such thing as packing simply!) but we also have guests from out of town coming for supper and the night tonight, tomorrow is golf, and Thursday evening I work.

(I know, I know, I can hear you all saying:   "Really?  You're all in a snit about not having enoug time time to get ready and yet you still golf!"  But, but, but... I've paid for it and can't miss it. )

On top of that I gots kids during the day that have a way of severely hindering fast, efficient accomplishment of tasks.  I am feeling a wee bit frazzled as I sit and eat lunch while being on the computer so I don't feel guilty about being on the computer.

The Good Part II:

This all being said a mere three hours ago, a lot has happened since then.  My dad took Sierra, Sawyer is napping and I went to town on the state of my house and my laundry.   I've forgotten how much can be accomplished without kids around!  

I think I might make it.