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Tuesday, March 16, 2010


What is it that has me, as a mom, feel like I need to have the strength, stamina, and the extra-ordinary skills of a super hero?
Forget the fact that a mere three weeks ago I completed nine months of all the discomforts of growing a baby. Then I experienced hours of the most excruciating pain possible and that was followed by pushing out the equivalent of a watermelon through a hole normally the size of a carrot?
Forget the fact that I have to heal from the above experience.
Forget the fact that my hips and pelvis are screaming at me in agony as they attempt to realign themselves while I run around and try to function like I did pre-pregnancy. (That goodness for chiropractors!)
Forget the fact that my boobs became so milk laden that they ballooned to an unrecognizable size, leaked continuously and at embarrassing times and the slightest bump sends spasms of pain radiating across my chest. Then to have them sucked on every couple of hours by a get my point.
Forget the fact that my self-image is in a complicated state as my body is way smaller than it was three weeks ago but about fifteen pounds away from where it should be. It's the in between stage of clothes so I feel like I have nothing flattering to wear. I try to give it credit for what it's been put through but I also think "hurry up, get back to normal already!" No matter that it took nine months to morph like it did, why won't it transform back instantly?
Forget about the hormones settling themselves back down too. Oo is that a recipe for scary some moments!

I'm a mom, I can do anything!!!

I think immediately following a baby's birth all new mom's should get a week off in an exotic resort and be waited on hand and foot while we heal and get to know our new babies. Reality would be easier to face I think.

My reality has been 4-6 hours of interrupted sleep per night and then a full day of keeping up with regular activities because Sierra doesn't have the personality type to allow me to do anything else. To her, I'm mommy as usual and that is probably the hardest part of post-baby adjustment and recovery. She is a needy, demanding girl who will not be ignored. I'm just thankful that she can do a lot of things by herself such as get dressed. Of course when Sierra goes down for her nap Sawyer decides he needs to eat and have awake time so no napping for mommy. I get the occasional doze time but nothing even remotely close to getting me caught up and feeling like I can dispose of the toothpicks holding up my eyelids.
The lack of sleep, doing too much and my body recovering is seriously wearing on me. I was out and about driving the other day and realized that I was not a safe presence on the road, my awareness and reaction time was almost non-existent and it actually scared me.

I keep going because I don't feel as though I have any other choice. All I did was survive last week and even that didn't go about very well. I yell at Sierra more than is characteristic of me, attempt to ignore her as much as possible, and I can't think straight. My house was a disaster (not that that is the most crucial thing but being surrounded by chaos didn't help), my body was a disaster, my mental state was a disaster....

There you have it, my whine session from last week. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who puts up with me and helps where he can. He allowed me the time to catch up on sleep this past weekend and get our house more-or-less clean and tidy. It is a new week, I've had a few good nights with Sawyer and even a nap yesterday so I feel loads better.
Thanks to those who are willing to read my whining. This is my life, my reality and although it is far from bad it sure has its challenging bits.

1 comment:

Cam and Wendy Earl said...

Oh Im very excited..... (sense the sarcasm). You are super mom though Carla! Dont you forget it. I keep wondering if I can barley get through pregnant, how am I going to do it afterwards. I intend on finding myself a very good Chiropractor. Hang in there, it can only get better!